Waiting for Vaccine

ACT I

An apartment. A couch.

Evening.

Walt sits on the couch.

Enter Eddie, wearing a face mask.

Eddie tries to take off his face mask. He gives up, exhausted, then tries again

EDDIE:   Nothing to be done.

WALT:   I’m beginning to come around to that opinion. Let me embrace you.

EDDIE:   Six feet!

WALT:   Yes. May one inquire where you’ve been?

EDDIE:   The supermarket.

WALT:   And they beat you?

EDDIE:   Certainly, they beat me.

WALT:   For what?

EDDIE:   I tried to take the last box of oatmeal.

WALT:   You should’ve ordered from Amazon. On the other hand, we should’ve stocked up on dry goods a million years ago, in 2019.

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Tartuffe of the Upper East Side

Tartuffe by Moliere

A Play in One Act

A luxurious penthouse.

DORINE              

Should we wake him, Laurent? It’s nearly noon.

LAURENT           

Leave him be and let snoring be his tune.
We can hope he falls into a coma.
On this planet, he’s a melanoma.

DORINE              

You take him too seriously, I’m afraid.
When all he does is get drunk and get laid.

LAURENT           

I don’t care that he drinks himself blotto
While pretending to pray in a grotto.
It’s when he claims that his frivolities
Are the result of innate qualities
That I want to drag him from this gilded cage
And make him live on our pay, minimum wage.

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Prostitutes and Playwrights (Again)

What do Prostitutes and Playwrights have in common?

According to my Hollywood Agent, quite a lot.

Check out the full conversation at IrishCentral.com.