Waiting for Vaccine

ACT I

An apartment. A couch.

Evening.

Walt sits on the couch.

Enter Eddie, wearing a face mask.

Eddie tries to take off his face mask. He gives up, exhausted, then tries again

EDDIE:   Nothing to be done.

WALT:   I’m beginning to come around to that opinion. Let me embrace you.

EDDIE:   Six feet!

WALT:   Yes. May one inquire where you’ve been?

EDDIE:   The supermarket.

WALT:   And they beat you?

EDDIE:   Certainly, they beat me.

WALT:   For what?

EDDIE:   I tried to take the last box of oatmeal.

WALT:   You should’ve ordered from Amazon. On the other hand, we should’ve stocked up on dry goods a million years ago, in 2019.

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Tartuffe of the Upper East Side

Tartuffe by Moliere

A Play in One Act

A luxurious penthouse.

DORINE              

Should we wake him, Laurent? It’s nearly noon.

LAURENT           

Leave him be and let snoring be his tune.
We can hope he falls into a coma.
On this planet, he’s a melanoma.

DORINE              

You take him too seriously, I’m afraid.
When all he does is get drunk and get laid.

LAURENT           

I don’t care that he drinks himself blotto
While pretending to pray in a grotto.
It’s when he claims that his frivolities
Are the result of innate qualities
That I want to drag him from this gilded cage
And make him live on our pay, minimum wage.

Continue reading “Tartuffe of the Upper East Side”

Prostitutes and Playwrights (Again)

What do Prostitutes and Playwrights have in common?

According to my Hollywood Agent, quite a lot.

Check out the full conversation at IrishCentral.com.

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